What’s your minimal acceptable?

I’ve been discipling a college student for the last few years and we were discussing our morning routines. She had been doing great for several months, but when she got sick, she wasn’t able to keep up on her full morning routine and she felt like a failure. We talked about how that happens to all of us, in every season, and that maybe we should simplify her morning routine, so when she has those super busy or sick days so she’ll know the minimal acceptable (most important) things to do and not spiral into thoughts of failure when she can’t do it all. Here is what we came up with:

Remember
Reflect
Relish

On sick or busy days: REMEMBER God

On days when you’re sick, recovering, crazy busy, working through heavy things or grieving, it’s all we can do to get the bare minimum done. These are the days where we should strive to REMEMBER God. Remember to pray and read something in the Bible and do the bare minimum that needs to be done to take care of the people around you as best as you can.

When I got sick recently, the minimum for me was to read a Psalm (or the chapter in Proverbs that matches the day on the calendar) and spend a few minutes in prayer (and strive to read and pray when I’m on the couch being sick before I allow myself to watch a show or read a book). The minimal acceptable to take care of the people around me was a simple as picking up after myself. For example, when I moved from the bed to the couch, I made the bed. When I moved from the couch to a chair, I folded the blanket and put my cup in the dishwasher. When I fixed myself a simple lunch, I put stuff away in the kitchen after I used it. This way, there wasn’t a mess on the counters when the rest of the family had to reheat leftovers for dinner.

On regular days: REFLECT on God

These are our normal days. Days when we have to keep it to a schedule because we homeschool, or have to work or go to class. Our main focus on these days is to REFLECT on God. That means we read the Bible for as long as we can, and we reflect on what we’ve read maybe through a journal or summarizing the section we read.

When I had younger kids and was homeschooling, this meant that I read three pages in my Bible and wrote at the top of the page what I had read, a sort of quick sentence summary (see more here). I was finding that when I was reading through my Bible with a reading plan I was just reading words, words, words, then would check the box for the day. But when I was done couldn’t tell you what I’d read. So reflecting by quickly summarizing what I read was super helpful. (There were many days where I had to start over and read the pages again!)
This is also similar to how I needed to focus on prayer. I would find that sometimes I would just read down a list of prayer requests and consider that praying. Again, I needed to reflect more in prayer, think about the person or the request, and consider what I am thinking about and saying to God.

On ideal days: RELISH God

This is the ideal routine days for when the time is unrushed. For those who work outside the home, this might be more of a routine for your days off. For moms with littles, this is a routine that might have to wait for days when you have help watching the children, or can sneak out to a coffee shop for a hour or so. These are days that are going to be treasured because they allow you to RELISH the time thinking, reading, and praying.

A relish day for me would include reading a chapter (or more) in the Bible and writing a narration of the chapter (retelling the chapter as best as I can remember), thinking on and meditating on a verse or phrase, praying through my prayer binder, and reading whatever spiritual or theological book I’m working through. I don’t get to do this every day, but the days when I can (if I’m intentional not to get distracted!), these days are a rich treat!

For my friend in college, her relish day would include reading through the Bible reading plan for the day, journaling about the section she read, and going on a 30 minute prayer walk.

What about you? Do you tend to feel like a failure if you don’t get to everything? What would you prioritize on a REMEMBER day? What about a REFLECT day? or a RELISH day?