{marginalia} proper self-examination
Marginalia: plural noun: notes or embellishments in the margin of a book.
I’m still slowly reading through Susan Allibone’s memoir. This time through I’m color coding specific topics that she writes about (self-examination is purple). I absolutely love this excerpt in a letter to her dear friend and had to share it with you. Susan is explaining how to deal with the reality of reflecting on our actions and thoughts and seeing the glaring mark of sin in our life. Sometimes when we reflect, or examine ourselves, we do this wrong and end up contemplating self and sin more than the Savior.
In her letter, Susan shares a better way:
In the margin, I took notes summarizing how to examine myself better:
When I pause and reflect and see something I’ve done, thought, or desired that falls short of God’s way, instead of feeling like a failure or berating myself, I should,
1. Acknowledge my sin and shortcoming.
2. Throw it away like the detestable thing it is.
3. Turn, again, to the fountain ever open for sin and uncleanness (Zechariah 13:1)
4. Perceive (understand, remind myself and rejoice) that Christ is my full and complete redemption.
5. Go on again in the strength of the Lord,
6. Making mention of His righteousness only (not anything I have done).
I agree with Susan that this is the way to examine yourself. The Christian life is not ever about “trying harder to do better,” or pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, or resolving to make a new plan. Those are all focused on me and my willpower (which is so weak, fickle, and will eventually fail). Instead, I need to be better at throwing myself, again, quickly, and with profound thankfulness into that fountain flowing with His righteousness. This has been such a huge shift for me, a chronic checklist and (failed) resolution maker!
This is what it looks like to be “simply hanging upon the righteousness of the Righteous One.”
You can get your own copy of Susan’s memoir here. And if you have purchased it, would you be so kind as to leave a quick review on Amazon?
