1. I agree with a lot of what you said. As a mom with special needs adult children, where the care is still as intense as when they were younger, it is so lonely. I would love to have some women to walk through God’s Word with – and it doesn’t even have to be geared towards my needs as a special needs’ mom, just someone(s) that I could pray with/for, someone(s) that I could talk to about God’s Word – someone(s) that I could encourage when they are feeling indifferent, or that encourage me when I falter. You can contact me at any time – I would love to know how to do this. I have and continue to try to reach out to women locally and women online to build this, and have and continue to pray – asking God to help me with this.

  2. Thanks for this post. Currently, I am teaching a Bible study to five ladies and I meet with one of them individually, consistently. Some of the trouble I have is believing that anyone would want to meet with me. When I finished homeschooling I wanted to reach out to younger homeschoolers, but felt that none of them wanted to hear what I had to say. So, God had me in a place of quiet for a few years. Now the ladies I meet with are eager for study. One thing I do with the young mom I meet with regularly is to send her a verse or two each morning for her to meditate on throughout the day. She is expecting her 4th child, oldest is 6, so she has her hands full and doesn’t get in the Word much.
    I would like to see is some sort of book or curriculum, for lack of a better term, to walk through together. Many women’s mentoring studies are geared specifically Titus 2, which is fine, but I think a general discipleship is needed also. But, it is also difficult for busy moms to commit to something like that.
    I’ve been in a church that had a structured program of matching women with each other and I don’t think that went as well. It needs to be organic

  3. This is so true in many ways, I was fortunate enough that at our church we had a women’s group once a month, and we would discuss so many topics, and issues that would arise. In today’s world we don’t see much of this anymore, I feel it’s needed so much even if it’s once a month in churches, or to have an open line of communication when things do arise and we women need help. Praying that you will be Blessed during this process sister!!

  4. Like Jennifer, I have spent quite a long time in the homeschooling community–so when I had more time available, I went to offer to that community first. They didn’t really need or want my help. So I kept my “feelers” out and went where the doors were open (an important thing I learned, that discipleship might end up totally different from what I envisioned it to be). The Lord has given me opportunities with middle schoolers, small group Bible study, and an online community. I agree that an organic process seems more appealing.

  5. I agree this is definitely a need today. I was in ministry for about 30 years up until 2016. I mentored several young ladies over the years. It is an epidemic of women searching for answers on the internet. I have often wondered why there is not more discipling going on. Your explanations in your article are very true. There have been times when it seemed like I felt like Jennifer’s comment that I have a hard time believing someone would want to meet with me and I feel like no one wants to hear what I have to say. But I would be interested as well because it is a need. Sonja smsecrest@yahoo.com.

  6. When I first accepted Christ I had no idea what I was suppose to do next. There was no follow up. I was left to figure this out in my own. Thus I began church hopping. All of the above was not apart of some churches I attended. This is a real need. Big need.
    I would have loved to have a seasoned God believing older woman to helpme understand or to just be there.
    From someone who didn’t get the guidance at the beginning it’s been a hard road to now. Thankful for women like you who has a heart for this in the church.
    I’m sure I will learn from this and be able to apply to my life now.

  7. I have been wanting a lady to mentor be through the next phase of life. I don’t see many senior women wanting to engage with anyone outside of specific age range, but it’s my need. I think this mentality is because the church doesn’t engage the variety of adult ages unless it’s a women’s church conference. Senior citizens are needed to mentor the 30, 40, and 50 year olds. (I’m 55.) I’ve homeschooled for 21 years and just graduated our last child. I know empty nesting is in the future and things do feel a little lonely with that thought.

  8. I agree there is a continual need for life on life mentors. I also agree that it changes depending on your life phase. The important thing is that you are available. You begin with prayer and an open heart. God will then sent someone or someones to you. Sometimes it is one woman and you meet as often as you and the person can meet. Sometimes it’s a group. A friend and I led a Bible study where each person brought an ingredient for the supper, we prepared it together, while it cooked we did the Bible study, and we fellowshipped after by eating the supper. God leads with what to study in His word. I’ve done discipleship studies, topic studies, book of the Bible studies. All of them are great depending on what the needs of the people are that God sends your way. I’ve led larger Bible studies for my church and God has one person I’m called to meet with at their convenience. I’ve served in high school ministry with my husband when our sons were that age and God called me to mentor another youth leader half my age. Right now I’m doing a Bible study online with a girl I met in another state. The amazing thing is that it is all about God and He blesses me with wonderful women that make me grow in God!

  9. I wholeheartedly support you in this endeavor. I am one of those “empty-nesters” whose voice you say is valuable. Unfortunately I haven’t found it valued by many others. In my 40’s, I had a younger women once express that she’d rather have someone relatable to her season in life than someone like me. Now in my 50’s, I made myself available to the women’s ministry and was asked to participate in the women’s ministry leadership team (that plans and brainstorms how to be more effective). I also was asked to facilitate the women’s Sunday School class. I still find it rare that a younger woman will take me up on an offer to have coffee sometime. When I was a young twenty-something, with small children and the overwhelm that goes with them, I was actively looking for an older woman to give me some hope. Along with some other friends of mine in the same season/situation, we sat down one day and discussed who was available to teach us just exactly HOW to love these husbands and children of ours and above all, God. The answer was sadly, no one. All the women had gone back to work or were traveling or simply not interested in us. It was the same in our homeschool group. As if the second they were out of the season of children, they wanted nothing more to do with it. One women literally said, “so long suckers! I’m out. I’ve done my time. Your time will come. Hang in there…” So we made a pact that day with our twenty-something selves: We would be for the younger women to come, what we wish we had then. We would become the older women we longed for – available, willing, humble and wise. I’m glad to say, every one of us is now involved in mentoring younger women to some degree and we have kept our vow that day. Two of us work in Pregnancy Help Centers as well. Thank you for this effort to shed light on this need. Its always been a passion of mine and I continue to trust that God will bring whoever He leads into my life to serve.

  10. A resounding YES to all you’ve shared.
    I think we also need Biblical mentors as many (myself included) are in the dis-untangling process. Those who’ve grown up in “church”, but it wasn’t sound, Biblically…or even Biblical at all.
    This is an area I see great need for. And yet, I completely unqualified to show others the way yet.
    Also, what do boundaries look like for a healthy mentorship?
    Thank you 💓

  11. I crave discipleship. I long for the deep conversations. I even presented this to one older lady in our church who has been a leader in many ways in our church, and she agreed this was a good thing. But then left in my court to define what to do. I have no idea. Do I suggest a book we read together? Or do I declare a topic that we can discuss next time we meet and we both need to be prepared? I just don’t know.

    On the other hand, I am working to be present in several other women’s lives, both older and younger than me, as mentor or discipler. From my experience of frustration, I’m thinking about how to be intentional and even define the relationship/ process. I think that discipleship is the crux of what we do as Christians, but its hard and most people don’t want to do the hard thing.

  12. Hi Kari,
    I came upon your website entirely by “accident!” It’s no accident and I’m happy to have found you and your blog!

    I agree that young women have no one to turn to these days. They may live far from their families or may have broken families and not have a church family, leaving them with no one to turn to for guidance. That’s one of the problems currently facing our country and world–the lack of discipleship and guidance on living. Mentors are missing from the picture.

    Your blog is filling a void for many women (of all ages), I’m pretty sure!

    God bless,

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